Shit BIz Ideas

Where shit ideas come to life

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SBI Original: Cannibal Chicken Meat - Only the strongest birds make it to your plate!

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The Business plan: Start with 1 thousand baby ninja chickens and let nature takes it course until only one chicken reins supreme. Once the batch winner is declared, chicken is promptly slaughtered by a buddhist monk and sold for $10,000 on the ABPMT (asian-black-poultry-meat-market. Rinse, repeat, retire to Monaco and marry an ex model. You’re welcome.

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SBI Original: Plug Buddy App

Finally, you can track and record your flatulence habits with Plug Buddy - taking wearables to the next level.

Features:

  • Track and record velocity, volume and viscosity of your butt trumpet
  • Share your profile and add friends
  • Silence or amplify your farts and record so your friends can enjoy
  • Buy scent capsules
  • Jeweled plugs available

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Shit Products That Exist: Cat Strollers

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Nothing says infertility like a owning or buying a cat stroller, that’s why very few are sold. Cat’s are solitary carnivores that will eat you when you die alone from heart disease. The inventor of the cat stroller suffered this fate, twice.

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Shit Biz Attire: Bow Ties

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I have absolutely no words other than do not do this, even as a joke. The only time bow ties are acceptable is never. If you choose to wear one you will be shunned and hunted down for national sport on television, or worse, people may look at you funny.

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SBI Original: Lines With Friends

The first mobile app to make cocaine usage more fun:

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Features:

  • Set the amount of friends who want in and select your desired line weight and simply trace your coke over
  • Track your progress - No more friends doing more than their fair share
  • Mark when snorted with the push of a button
  • Motivational encouragement when your nostrils are blocked
  • Call for emergency button redirects to pulp fiction overdose video

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Shit Business Etiquette

When shaking hands with your new business partners after closing on a new investment deal don’t withdraw your hand swipe it over your hair and say “too slow suckers” as you grabs your nuts with your left hand and walk backwards out of the room.

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Insects chips will not make you wealthy

“The Miracle Ingredient is Insects” - I fuck you not, this has to be the worst idea for a snack food ever.

If you serve anything, to anyone, and use that line I can assure you that you are going to get punched. I will eat fire ants if this thing gets funded.

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